My sheets look like a crime scene.
kristin has been a bad kristin
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
