Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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