Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
