u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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