dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
