found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
