In the future we'll all be gay
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
