My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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