i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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