he wants to bone in the snuggie
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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