what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
