I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
