maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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