Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
