Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
