I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
