Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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