I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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