You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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