Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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