jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
this hospital has no fireball
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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