When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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