does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
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Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
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Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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