I murdered the dance floor call the cops
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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