clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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