Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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