scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
