when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize