are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
