Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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