I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
you made out with another girl for some wings
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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