got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
