if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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