how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
