you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
