Me. At least after what I've been through.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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