I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
PANTIES FOUND
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