I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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