PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
A bitchslap is in order.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
