Umm I'm too high to move.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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