Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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