Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
These tits shall not be calmed
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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