Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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