I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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