Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
