Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
