I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
