my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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