What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize