Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The best revenge is premature balding
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
