It's Friday. Sex?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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