I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
