she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
