ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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