Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
