Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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