I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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