4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
