Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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