Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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