woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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